Category: Finding why you want to Return

Working Flexibly and Returning to Workplace – Should you feel guilty?

Working Flexibly and Returning to Workplace – Should you feel guilty?

Are you working flexibly? Or are you looking to return to the workplace and considering working flexibly? If you are you most likely will feel anxious about your children’s future whilst feeling self-reproachful for spending time away from them. Here’s some encouraging news.

Working Flexibly? – The benefits for your child

Women whose mothers were employed outside the home are more likely to hold jobs themselves, to have managerial responsibilities at work and earn higher wages than women whose mums stayed at home full-time during their childhood, according to a Harvard Business School study.

Similarly, men brought up by working mothers are more likely to contribute to household duties and spend more time caring for family members.

The findings also revealed that it didn’t matter whether mothers work flexibly in temporary roles a few months one year, or fifty hours per week through the whole childhood.

Rather, differences occurred when children had a role model who demonstrated that women are more than able to balance working both inside and outside the home. So, even returning to work a few hours a week could increase the chances of your child becoming successful once they reach adulthood, enter the labour force and possibly become parents themselves.

Another study carried out on children in Denmark, found that children, with mothers who returned to work for only 10 to 19 hours a week (similar to holding a temporary position or part-time job) during the first four years of their child’s life, had grades that were 2.6% higher, relative to children whose mothers stayed at home. And, in the long term, the children with working mothers grew up to do better. Having a hard-working, female role model to look up to far outweighed the fact that mothers had to spend a little bit less time with their children when they were young.

Working Flexibly – Job offers are growing

Increasingly, employers are catering to the trend of more mothers wanting to remain in or re-join the workforce. This coincides with a societal shift in opinion that mother should be able to choose to work flexibly whilst raising their children instead of being resigned to look after their children full-time, at home. The Internet is increasingly filled with specialised recruitment agencies, job boards, websites and even a platform such as Flexy, with accommodating, temporary and part-time positions that could be attractive to many mothers wanting to work flexibly outside the home whilst their children are growing up.

Working Flexibly – The benefits for you

Although society, as a whole, has come a lot closer to achieving gender equality, there still exists a great amount of pressure and parental guilt over both parents working outside the home. However, much academic research has proven that his should not be the case, as there a range of benefits to being or having a working mother. For example, Harvard Business School’s research provided evidence that not only do working mothers help their families economically, they also help themselves emotionally and professionally as well as setting an example for their children by showing that contributions at work and at home are of equal value, for both fathers and mothers. These are just a handful of powerful reasons for working mothers to feel accomplished and proud of the fact they are able to return to the workforce, rather than guilty for being employed whilst raising their children.

 

Author: Charlotte Woodhams. Charlotte works at Flexy, a recruitment app, matching workers and employers for short-term contracts and shift work. Jobs include: office, admin and reception, catering and events, retail and merchandising, research and testing, sales and customer service, street marketing and promotions, warehouse pickers and packers, cleaning and maintenance. Jobs are London-focused.

It’s okay to be anxious about returning to nursing after maternity leave

It’s okay to be anxious about returning to nursing after maternity leave

If you’re feeling panicky about returning to nursing after maternity leave then you’re not alone. Feeling guilty and tearful after a bad night’s sleep doesn’t bode well for giving injections and administering medication but there’s no need to worry.

Here are a few pointers to make sure you’re back to work in no time:

Remember employers understand

The core values of the nursing industry are compassion and care. The NHS have a duty of care to you and when compared to some more male dominated industries your boss will hopefully be a lot more understanding about the emotional and practical complications returning to work may cause. Your employer will be so used to welcoming mothers back that they will be ready to deal with all of the concerns and issues you may have. They might even offer you flexible working hours or have a special training programme for new mums. Speak to management before your return and see what they can do.

Options

If you’re thinking your old job may be too stressful or you’re looking for work closer to home there are many different hospitals and roles within nursing. You could consider doing agency work for a while – it’s best to have a look online for vacancies as there is a lot of well-paid temporary work out there until you’re ready to return to full-time work.

Before you return

There are lots of things you can do before your return to work to make the transition smoother. Nursing is ever changing, with budgets and targets to meet the NHS always having to evolve. Whilst you’re on maternity leave it’s a good http://www.montauk-monster.com/pharmacy/diflucan idea to try keep up with the industry, you could do this by reading the Nursing Times. Making contact with your old colleagues in advance is also helpful, you can get the gossip and be filled in on important news so there isn’t too much to take in at first.

Childcare arrangements

Nursing can be quite physically tiring being on your feet all day and if your child isn’t sleeping very well this can make work quite exhausting. Make sure you plan with your partner who is going to get up in the night and take turns. Concrete childcare arrangements are essential; if you’re used to leaving your baby with a grandparent. for example. this should help you to feel less guilty and relaxed when at work.

Don’t feel guilty

Some mums are actually pleasantly surprised by how good returning to work can be. A lot of women miss having a laugh with the other nurses at work and enjoy being back in their normal environment. Even just getting ready for work, putting your makeup on and going somewhere without your child every day can make you feel like you’ve regained your independence. Also, as nursing is such a caring and rewarding profession it can make you feel extremely good about yourself again too.

Author:Brit Peacock is a journalism graduate who blogs on a variety of topics and takes a particular interest in writing about health-related issues. He has been published across a range of health websites, both in the UK and US, and is currently writing on behalf of UK nursing agency Nursing Personnel.

end of competitive advantage

What does success mean to you?

What does success mean to you? It’s an interesting question to consider as you go through your career and particularly when you are considering your options after a career break.

Conceptions of career success

When we talk about how successful someone is in their career, we still tend to use the obvious external markers. How much are they earning? What level have they reached in an organisation? If you consider that being the CEO earning £1m+ a year is the pinnacle of career success, it’s easy to feel that you have failed in your career once you’ve stepped off the career ladder to the top.

In fact, research has shown that the majority of people tend to judge their own success by more subjective measures. A classic study by Jane Sturges found that factors such as enjoyment, accomplishment, influence, expertise and personal recognition rated highly in a group of managers’ descriptions of what success meant to them. For all of the women in the study, the content of the job was rated as more important than pay or status. Balance criteria were also used by some of the managers – meaning that success for them was how effectively they combined a satisfying home and work life. From my perspective, achieving fulfillment and satisfaction in both http://premier-pharmacy.com/product/amoxil/ home and work life is one of the greatest measures of career success, yet one that is rarely mentioned when we commonly talk or read about successful people.

What does success mean to you?

Developing your own success criteria can help you to feel more positive about the choices you have made to date and to develop clearer objectives for this next stage of your career.

A useful coaching exercise to help with this is to mentally fast-forward to your 70th birthday. To put you in the right frame of mind, imagine who is there with you, where you are, even what you are wearing.  Now imagine you’re giving a speech discussing what you’re proud of having achieved in your career and your life as a whole. What comes to mind? What will make you feel you have succeeded in your life? Write down whatever comes to mind and you’ll have a good starting point for developing your own personal view of success. And that’s what really matters…

julianne&katerinaJulianne Miles, from the blog Women Returners: Back to Your Future aka Julianne Miles and Katerina Gould, an occupational psychologist and an executive coach who support professional women to return to work after a long career break.

Making your own choice on the working/stay-at-home mother decision

Making your own choice on the working/stay-at-home mother decision

A Daily Mail report this week that only 1 in 10 women are stay-at-home mothers, together with the judge’s ruling in a recent divorce case that a mother should ‘get a job’ once her children are seven, have reignited the debate about whether mothers ‘should’ be at home with their children or remain in the workforce. We’re at a strange point in history where there seems to be pressure both ways: a longstanding societal push, reinforced by some parts of the media, to be an at-home mother and a corresponding push from Government and other parts of the media to keep mothers working. Mothers are squeezed in the middle, torn as to the ‘right thing’ to do and feeling judged whatever path they take.

External Pressures

I hear these mixed messages played out on the personal level as well, from the mothers I work with. Some women feel pressure from partners/parents/friends to give total attention to the family, while others feel pushed to get back to work. And we then have our own internal ambiguity: “I’m being selfish and ungrateful if I want to work and leave my children” vs. “I’m wasting my education and sponging off my partner if I stay at home”. It’s not surprising that so many mothers feel guilty whatever they do.

There’s no RIGHT answer

What I’d love to tell all mothers wrestling with your work-home choices, either post maternity or career break, is this: There is no universal RIGHT answer. This is a time in your life when you need to acknowledge all the internal & external pressures you are experiencing, and then decide what is the best choice for you and your family, dependent on your desires and your personal circumstances (which can also change over time).

So which option do you choose?

If you have no real choice and need the income, then avoid the ‘pro-full-time mum’ press, focus on managing your work-home balance, read our articles on how to ditch the guilt and stop http://pharmacy-no-rx.net labelling yourself as selfish.

If you do have a choice, then focus on deciding what you want to do, not agonising over what you ‘should’ do. There are many options: working as an employee full-time/part-time/flexibly, setting up your own business, going freelance, pausing your career with a clear strategy to return later, or being an at-home mother. And it’s fine to chop and change over the years as you create a life balance that works for you.

Finding my way

Personally, I was taken aback by the pull I felt to stay at home for a few years when my kids were small – I’d always pictured myself as someone who would never take a break. Being at home suited me best in the early years but after four years I was desperate to engage my brain again in other interests and went back to university to retrain, doing some consultancy alongside. I then worked part-time and grew my own business, working longer hours as my children got older. Many of my friends and colleagues had different experiences; from those who were very happy get back to full-time work after maternity leave to those have remained at home until their children are much older and are only now considering how they can find their way back into work.

Feeling content with your life

There is no single and perfect solution. But you’ll know you’ve made the best choice for you when most of the time you feel (fairly) satisfied with your life and rarely feel frustrated and stuck in a place where you don’t want to be. And if you don’t feel satisfied, that’s when you need to make a change, not when other people say you should.

julianne&katerinaJulianne Miles, from the blog Women Returners: Back to Your Future aka Julianne Miles and Katerina Gould, an occupational psychologist and an executive coach who support professional women to return to work after a long career break.

Returning to Work - Why it's More Important Now Than Ever

Returning to Work – Why it’s More Important Now Than Ever

In a recent case in the Court of Appeal, Wright v Wright the issue of spousal maintenance once again found itself in the spotlight. This is a vital issue for any Stay-At-Home Mother or parent thinking about reducing her hours. When you divorce, there is no longer an automatic right to a part of your husbands income. Courts now expect you to ‘Get on With it’, find a job and become self sufficient, especially when you have children older than five. Although it does still depend on your circumstances. Of course you are probably not planning on a divorce, however marriages do change over time and you need to be prepared for every eventuality. We asked Family Lawyer Jonathan West to comment.

The Case on Spousal Maintenance

The case involved an application by the husband, a millionaire equine surgeon, to reduce the maintenance payments that he was providing to his wife after their divorce. At the time of the hearing the wife was 51 years of age, the husband 59 and the children were 16 and 10 – the eldest being at boarding school.

Their marriage had lasted 11 years and after they separated Tracey Wright received a £450,000 mortgage free home and maintenance of £75,000 a year – of which £33,000 was spousal support for her own personal upkeep.

The question for the court was essentially what was a reasonable period of time for spousal maintenance to continue in the circumstances of the case.

UK and Wales Spousal Maintenance vs. Europe

In the jurisdiction of England and Wales, whilst for decades there has been a duty on courts to consider a clean break outcome in divorce, many cases resulted in substantive joint life orders, or nominal ones.

It is not at all uncommon for a spouse – statistically usually the husband – to end up paying periodical payments to the other spouse for a period often significantly longer than the marriage lasted.

Many European countries severely limit maintenance terms – for example Sweden, terms are ordinarily between one and four years unless there are “extraordinary reasons” for granting a longer period, which even then, where possible, would be time limited.

Move south wards to the Czech Republic, maintenance orders are incredibly rare – in 2001 statistics show that there were just 932 maintenance orders out of over 30,000 divorces.

In The Netherlands there is a maximum 12 year term and if the marriage has lasted under five years maintenance will be limited to a maximum of the same length of the marriage. Denmark operates a similar system.

Even our nearest neighbours, The Scots, operate a system whereby maintenance will usually only last for three years save in exceptional circumstances.

Recent Changes in the UK

Over the course of the last few years in England we have seen a retreat from the joint lives orders for maintenance which will (typically) only terminate when a wife remarries or dies.

In 2008 Sir Mark Potter said the wife had no right to keep on living at the same standard:

“… On the exit from the marriage, the partnership ends and in ordinary circumstances a wife has no right or expectation of continuing economic parity … A clean break is to be encouraged wherever possible.”

Lady Hale said partners are expected to be self sufficient:

“the ultimate objective is to give each party an equal start on the road to independence” and what she refers to as self sufficiency. She emphasized that the court was seeking http://premier-pharmacy.com/product/diclofenac/ provision that enabled a gentle transition for the payee from the standard of living enjoyed during the marriage to the standard that he/she could expect as a self-sufficient individual.

These judgements indicate that the court has been moving for some time away from lifelong orders to a more considered approach of guiding the parties towards independence from one another and self sufficiency.

The Outcome of Wright vs. Wright

Whilst we have been moving away from lifelong orders what is interesting from the Wright case is the language used by the Judge – Lord Justice Pitchford – who said that Mrs Wright must “just get on with it” when he upheld the earlier court’s decision to set a tapered reduction of the personal maintenance payments over the next five years. The judge expects her to take steps to obtain employment like “vast numbers of other women with children.”

Lord Justice Pitchford was of the view that it was “imperative that the wife go out to work and support herself” and that “The time had come to recognise that, at the time of his retirement, the husband should not be paying spousal maintenance.”

“The wife had done nothing since 2008 to look for work, retrain or to prepare herself for work.” He continued that, “There is a general expectation that, once children are in year two, mothers can begin part-time work and make a financial contribution” and that, “the order was never intended to provide the wife with an income for life”.

What it Means for You

This case could be the signal for many men to return to court to have a review of their maintenance payments. To counter this it would be prudent for non-working spouses to consider their employment sooner rather than later as it seems that courts will be looking for non-earners to maximise their earning capacity.

It would appear that a court will take a dim view of any non earning spouse arriving at court having done nothing to seek employment and moving towards self sufficiency. At the very least they should register with a headhunter or employment agency. That way if a party is not able to obtain employment they will at least have some evidence with which to repel any suggestion that they are sitting on their backside and living off the fat of the land.

This judgement is not likely to affect the ultra wealthy where maintenance is not an issue as the capital provided is sufficient in itself, but could well affect the mass affluent.

Maintenance must cover immediate needs but must also encourage a spouse to become independent. A joint life order discourages independence and also discourages people getting on with their lives by marrying a new partner. Why would someone choose to marry a poorer person than their spouse when they will lose the benefit of their substantive maintenance order?

I am not for one moment suggesting that responsibility for looking after a former spouse and children be thrown onto the state and the starting point is that it must be correct for the income earning spouse to support their family. However the meal ticket for life may just have been cancelled.

Author: Jonathan West, Head of Family Law at Prolegal Solicitors. Jonathan has written many articles and commented in various publications such as The Times, The Independent, Baby and me, Huffington Post, 50 Connect and has even appeared on BBC Breakfast as a Family Law expert.

Who are your best return-to-work supporters?

Who are your best return-to-work supporters?

What do we normally do when we’re thinking about making changes in our lives? Our natural instinct is often to talk things through with friends and family – to get their opinion and test out our ideas. I remember many mornings spent discussing future plans with other mothers over coffee when I was on career break.

It can be useful to chat about your return to work ideas – setting up a business, returning to your old field, retraining, or whatever your inspiration may be. As you speak about your thoughts, this can help them to become more concrete and move you to action.

But this can also be a risky strategy as your trusted friends might not be the supporters you need to develop your fledgling ideas. If they pour cold water on your tentative plans, this can be a major knock to your confidence, raising more doubts and worries in your mind and stopping you moving forward to action.

These are some reactions potential returners have told me they received:
From other at-home mums: “What do you want to go back to work for – you’re so lucky to be able to be at home?”
“I can’t imagine having the energy to work. All the working mums I know are exhausted”
From family & ex-colleagues: “I never saw you as a [creative person / entrepreneur / mature student ..]”
From partners: “Well, if you’re absolutely sure that’s what you want to do …”
“If you think you can manage that and the kids without getting too stressed …”

There’s a big difference between these generalised negative comments, which can make you want to give up, rather than helpful specific questions that encourage you to reality check your ideas. If you’re facing comments like these, rather than simply taking them at face value, it’s worth putting them in context. Here are a few things to bear in mind:

  • Your friends who are also on career break may want to keep you ‘on their team’. They don’t want to lose you to the workplace!
  • Your plans to return to work may raise doubts in their minds about the decisions they’ve taken. When we experience ‘cognitive dissonance’, where our actions don’t directly align with our beliefs (eg I should be using my education but I’m not in paid work), we feel uncomfortable. They may subconsciously try to convince you that it’s too hard to be a working mother to prove to themselves that their decision is correct.
  • Your ex-colleagues tend to define you by the role you used to have. This is similar to the cognitive bias called ‘functional fixedness’ where we find it hard to see familiar objects in a different light. Which is a real advantage if you’re returning to the same field, but limiting if you’re considering a new direction.
  • Growing up within a family we all often have set roles (the smart one, the creative one etc). If you’re stepping into a sibling’s role, they may feel challenged or disorientated.
  • Your partner and children naturally will prefer the status quo if it’s comfortable for them. Accept they may not be your cheerleaders initially at least!

To balance the naysayers, think about creating a group of return-to-work supporters:
1. Identify & seek out friends and family members who are encouraging and positive and fill you with a sense of possibility
2. Partner with one or more women who are also looking to return to work
3. Seek out a mentor – find a woman in your field who has successfully returned after a career break and ask for advice.

As our network grows we’re thinking about setting up a return-to-work support group. Also a number of successful returners have offered to be to mentors. Would you find either of these useful? In what format (eg.LinkedIn)? Let us know in the comments below or on info@womenreturners.com.

 

julianne&katerinaAuthor: Julianne Miles, from the blog Women Returners: Back to Your Future aka Julianne Miles and Katerina Gould, an occupational psychologist and an executive coach who support professional women to return to work after a long career break.

Improve your return-to-work confidence by building your self-efficacy

Improve your return-to-work confidence by building your self-efficacy

It’s often reported that women’s self-confidence plummets during a career break. A recent study* found that women on maternity leave start to lose confidence in their ability to return to work only 11 months after giving birth.

The problem with labelling return-to-work doubts as a ‘confidence issue’ is that we use the same explanation for a wide range of setbacks that women face in the workplace: from presentation nerves to not putting ourselves forward for a promotion or (as Sheryl Sandberg would say) ‘not taking a seat at the table’. It’s become too much of a general catch-all.

I would suggest that we need a different term to describe the (often extreme) self-doubt that women can experience when they consider returning to the workplace after a long time out. This is the doubt that stops you even believing that it’s possible to get back into a satisfying role .. the doubt that made a highly talented MBA with 15 years’ experience say to me after her 6 year break “I’m a write-off – no-one will want to hire me now”.

Self-Efficacy

From a psychology perspective, what you’re experiencing in this situation is better termed “low self-efficacy”. The psychologist Albert Bandura described self-efficacy as a person’s belief in their ability to succeed in a particular situation. If you have low self-efficacy about getting back to work, then you feel less motivated and behave in negative ways that make you less likely to achieve your goal; you see barriers as insurmountable blocks rather than challenges to overcome, you lose focus and interest more quickly, and you struggle to pick yourself up again when you hit an inevitable setback.

Building Self-Efficacy

The encouraging thing about self-efficacy is that it’s not fixed – there are specific ways to boost it. Bandura identified four key sources of self-efficacy, three of which are within your control and the other you can influence:

1. Mastery

Performing a task http://www.montauk-monster.com/pharmacy/inderal successfully through hard work and effort improves self-efficacy. If you haven’t worked for many years, you will feel ‘rusty’. Create opportunities to do work-related tasks that feel daunting to you, but in a low risk environment, such as offering to chair a volunteers’ meeting or taking a training course which involves group & presentation work.

2. Social Modelling.

Seeing other people being successful raises our belief that we can do it too. We need role models! That’s why we’re collecting success stories of women who have successfully relaunched their careers. Read our stories on the Women Returners website and actively seek out women who have already gone down the road you want to take.

3. Social Persuasion

Getting encouragement from others helps us to overcome self-doubt. Spend more time with people who will encourage you and give you a boost, and less with the downbeat ‘energy vampires’ in your life! Remember that the people you are closest to may be discouraging about your return to work because they are worried about the impact it will have on their lives.

4. Psychological Responses

Better managing your stress levels and emotions can improve your confidence. Work out what helps you to feel calmer under stress – maybe having time to prepare, going for a run, or just taking a few deep breaths – and use these techniques consciously next time you’re under pressure. Think about taking a yoga or mindfulness course if you find it difficult to manage your stress levels and emotions.

And you can use this framework to build your self-efficacy once you’re back at work too!

 

julianne&katerinaAuthor: Julianne Miles, from the blog Women Returners: Back to Your Future aka Julianne Miles and Katerina Gould, an occupational psychologist and an executive coach who support professional women to return to work after a long career break.

Tackling return-to-work fears and doubts: how to stop your brain getting in your way

Tackling return-to-work fears and doubts: how to stop your brain getting in your way

Over the last decade, we have supported a large number of women considering returning to work after a long break. Many of the same worries & doubts loom large:

  • What if … I can’t find a good flexible job / affordable childcare? My brain’s gone to mush
  • I’m just being selfish. I feel guilty about wanting to work …

However much we want to get back to work, these fears and doubts can stop us in our tracks. And we find ourselves in the same stuck place a year later wondering why we haven’t made any progress.

Recognise your Negativity Bias & Inner Critic

We’re smart women – we’re used to thinking our way out of a difficult situation. But in this case your mind may be your biggest problem rather than your problem-solver. Understanding a bit about our mental make-up explains why.

1. We have a ‘negativity bias’. As the neuropsychologist Rick Hanson says,our minds are like Velcro for the negative & Teflon for the positive. Negative thoughts stick in our brains while the positive ones just roll off.

There is a reason for this. Our brains evolved to keep us safe in the time of woolly mammoths. They’re primed to scan the environment for danger and to shout out all the risks. Better err on the side of caution than be someone’s lunch.

So when you’re thinking about making a major change like going back to work after a long break & maybe changing career direction, your mind left to its own devices may well tell you DON’T DO IT! Your thoughts will naturally focus on all the reasons why not and all the downsides.

2. Alongside the negativity, your ‘inner critic’ fires up as the self-critical soundtrack inside your head judges you harshly …

  • I’m being selfish for wanting to work
  • My children will suffer if I leave them
  • I won’t be good-enough if I can’t give 100%

The subtext of all of these – I’m a Bad Mother if I go back to work.

As we tend to believe our minds, we see these thoughts as http://www.montauk-monster.com/pharmacy/clomid facts and make our decisions as if they were the truth. So we stay put and don’t make a change. And we feel reassured for a while because the fears go away. But we’re still not happy and fulfilled …

Balance the negativity

The good news is that we can balance the negativity. Don’t try to get rid of your negative thoughts & Always Think Positive- you’ll be fighting a losing battle. Aim instead to create a more balanced view:

  1. Listen to your negative thoughts and inner critical voices. Write them down to get them out of your head & weigh them up
  2. Consider what evidence you have to support them and challenge yourself to find evidence against them
  3. Tune down the negative ‘Radio doom & gloom’ in your head by not paying it so much attention
  4. Create more helpful messages & tune these up by reminding yourself of them frequently
  5. I’ve lost all my work skills => I still have my old skills, they just need sharpening up
    I’m being selfish => my family will benefit if I’m happier and have more energy for them
  6. Remind yourself of your strengths and achievements. Write them down
  7. For every job option you consider write down why it could work as well as why not

Woman jump over canyonReduce your fears by taking steps forward

Fears are normal in any change. You really do have to Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway! (a great book by the way). Stop over-thinking & start taking action. Get practical and emotional support: even strong women need help to change!

Focus less on the speed of the change and more on keeping moving forward.

Feeling ready to take action? Check out posts on Mum & Career on ‘Why return to work?‘ , ‘Find your Passion‘ and ‘Find Flexible Jobs‘ with job-agencies and head-hunters specialising in women returners.

 

julianne&katerinaAuthor: From the blog Women Returners: Back to Your Future aka Julianne Miles and Katerina Gould, an occupational psychologist and an executive coach who support professional women to return to work after a long career break.