Can women really have it all?

I am the one who launched a not-for-profit web community for working mums that shows combining career and children can be done.

But can it really be done and, for that matter …. does it work for me?

The start – my frustration at not having it all

I had always been focussed on my career. So, when after having a baby we moved to the UK, I set out to find a job here. It was much harder than expected as our son seemed to never sleep and I only managed some serious job-hunting after we hired a nanny. I started working 4×9 hours in a more junior job, within a year that got quite boring though and I was keen to move on. So I accepted a full-time job that I loved as CSR Consultant in a Business School.

However, my long commute and more than full-time schedule on top of my husbands’ international job, made our family life feel very stressed. When I lost my job due to the recession I was upset, but also secretly relieved. Finally I had some time to breathe!

The years after having the baby seemed such a struggle: it hadn’t been easy to find a job, a less-demanding job bored me and a full-time senior job was too stressful. Aaah! Was I expecting too much? Was it just me? My own struggle to combine career and family, made me wonder why women struggle. Surely becoming a parent is a wonderful experience and being able to combine this with a career must be like having it all. But how do other women do it? Would it not be great if we could learn from each other’s experience? It surely would have helped me!

The idea

I have always been passionate about women and gender issues, and saw a chance to pursue that passion now. I found it’s not just me, many of us have similar issues figuring out what works for us AND our family. Becoming a parent is a profound change, and each one of us is figuring out how to make it work and running into the same issues. I also found there was a lack of on-line support for professional working mums like me. There are a lot of sites aimed at mums, but most are about lifestyle and parenting.

I became keen to share what I had learned, all the research I had found, the websites that help me, the insights that worked. So combining my own experiences and passion, I started Mum & Career. I created a place that is a first stop for women looking at ways of combining career and family. It is filled to the brim https://www.montauk-monster.com/pharmacy/levaquin with inspirational stories and a great selection of links, guidance and discussion from mothers who have been there before.

It is meant to give mums a place to learn, share and find support and recognition on-line. Wouldn’t it be great if running work and family would be much easier and more fun? Wouldn’t it be great if we could feel more empowered and dare to jump towards choosing work on our own terms?

The result – am I now having it all?

I love what I do now. I finally have time for a social life, sports and our son, and we only have occasional childcare. As I work from home we have also been able to extend our family with two lively dogs.

My work is flexible enough to grow when I would like to do a step up. In case it is needed or I want to, it can become a source of income. I am building something, developing myself and achieving results and keeping myself sane in doing so. It’s perfect. It’s the best of both worlds.

The challenges

Is there really no catch? Well there are some challenges.

I expected to miss my colleagues and be rather lonely. To my surprise I have found that I meet enough people during the day: other parents at the school run, dog walkers and networking-contacts. I have joined several women’s networking groups off-line and on-line, and I really love meeting and sharing experiences with other professional mums. They are starting to feel like a group of colleagues to me.

To be honest, it did take 6-12 months to learn to be focussed, and find time to work efficiently at home – You can read what I learned in my article: 10 commandment for WAHM’s. And I do miss having my own income and the sense of achievement and independence that comes with. I didn’t expect it to have such a profound impact. I hope it is temporary thing though.

It’s great there’s no manager who evaluates your decisions, and checks your targets, but…that also means you have to initiate everything yourself and solve all your own issues. I have now started working with a business coach to keep me on track and focussed, and that seems to be giving me what I need.

In total it has been so much more fun than I expected. I have gotten so much further than I had imagined since I had this idea I might do something for women. I have enjoyed working on my own venture and having the flexibility I need. And..wouldn’t it be fantastic if Mum & Career could just be that place working mums need!