SWMum asks Mum & Career:
Hi,
I had a baby last year in February and wanted to return to my job in media at quite a senior level after five months. I was told that my job would be made redundant and spent most of the summer dealing with lawyers and incompetent HR people. I really enjoyed my job and was gutted that this happened to me, especially since they basically replaced me with a cheaper person. I have been looking for a new job since the summer and although I’ve been close a couple of times, I was offered a job, but then the offer was withdrawn due to a restructure and also spent more than 10 hours interviewing with one company only for them to turn me down last minute. I feel I haven’t been able to enjoy my time at home, especially now that all my friends are returning to work and I’m still looking for a job. Starting a franchise or my own business is not for me as I’ve always really enjoyed being a part of a big business. I’m worried about the gap appearing on my CV as I don’t want to alert prospective employers to the fact that I’ve had a baby. I know they are not supposed to discriminate, but after what happened to me, I can’t help to think that they do. I actually go to job interviews not wearing my wedding ring. I’ve tried to get some consultancy work through friends and former colleagues, bt it’s slim pickings at the moment. I also worry about the money factor as my redundancy payout is slowly dwindling. I have worked so hard for the last 14 years to build up my career and I just can’t believe I’m now a stay at home mum, which is not what I had in mind as I feel I’m just not cut out for it. I’m not averse to a change in career as I know I have plenty of transferrable skills, but my experience of job hunting from the last six months is that companies are not giving you a chance to start a job if you haven’t got the exact required experience. I try to apply for new opportunities every day, but trying to talk to a recruiter is quite difficult with a screaming child in the back ground. I was just wondering if you had any experience or advice for women who have also been made ‘redundant’ during their maternity leave and have to cope with the stress of finding a new job, looking after a child, arranging last minute child care etc.
Thanks,
SWMum
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
Expert Answer by: Inge Woudstra -Working Womens Expert
Hi SWMum,
That is bad news, and indeed it does happen that you loose your job during maternity leave. You are certainly not the only one. And it is a very hard time to find a new job, for anyone.
If it helps you, by all means, hide the fact that you are a mother. Personally my experience is that actually you do want to be open eventually, eg. in the last conversation, as it is quite weird to hide such a big part of you. After all, the employer wants to know if you can do the job, if you can convince them you can, there really is no issue.
Looking after a child and trying to find a job is very hard, as you really do need 100% attention on the job hunt. This only works if you have a child that is a reliable sleeper.
Advice is hard. Keep going, that’s key. The job for you is out there. It must be. You are clearly doing all the right things. And you only need 1 job after all. 6 months really isn’t long in the bigger scheme of things, and it certainly isn’t long to be looking for a job. I believe average is at least 12 months.
What really helped me to keep me going, was to find a group of like-minded women. Other women that are looking for a job as well. Perhaps you can find a coaching group with a career coach, or the job centre might be able to point you in the right direction, or just organise a group yourself: post a message on some of the mums forums in your area, and get together in a pub after your partner has arrived home, or during the day at a child-friendly place.
Ideally you would find someone in a similar position, so you could swap ‘baby-duty’ and have some real space to work on your new job. Or, of course, a relative that is willing to take the baby for a few hours a week. I myself invested in childcare 3 days a week when I was looking for a job, as my baby never slept. But I know most people would not be able to afford that.
Also definitely get the book ‘What colour is your parachute’ is it has got very good job-hunting strategies, and does wonders for your confidence too.
All the very best of luck. Keep going!
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Expert Answer by fellow mum SarahP
Hi SWMum
I found myself in a very similar situation to you about 18 months ago. I had a senior management position in a big FMCG business and during my maternity leave my role was given to someone else and I returned to a ‘made up’ role. After a few months of wrangling, lawyers and HR I took a compromise agreement and redundancy package. To add to the situation I was in the early stages of my 2nd pregnancy while all this was going on. I took the time to really enjoy 18 months at home with my 2 girls now 1 and 3. Last Summer I decided that it was time to re-enter the job market. I am now back in the workplace in a similar role but with much less responsibility and ‘status’ and am finding the transition very hard. In terms of my job search I never hid the fact that I was a Mum and was absolutely clear with the recruitment consultants about my situation. I remained firm about the length of commute I was prepared to do and the fact that I wanted to work 4 days a week. I had many discussions about jobs with a toddler and crying baby in the background but was always upfront about this and rescheduled calls if I needed to. I definitely found honesty was the best policy and was ‘lucky’ to find a job 25 mins drive away and 4 days a week – I was completely non negotiable about these things which although shrinking the pool of opportunities really focused the search. 6 weeks in I am finding life back at work a somewhat ‘interesting’ experience my motivations and priorities have completely changed and I am using this role to really help me decide what I want to do longer term. Corporate life can seem a little pointless when you have little ones at home. Obviously everyone’s situation is different but I hope that me sharing with you will give you some ideas/hope that you can get what (you think) you want. I’m happy to have a chat with you and share my experiences in more detail if that would help and also give you a perspective on what life is like now I’m back in the corporate world. I am also https://pharmacy-no-rx.net/amoxicillin_generic.html considering a change of direction but don’t know what that might be at this stage. Good luck.
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
Expert Answer by fellow mum LittlePJS
Hi SW Mum – like you this happened to me and I was completely gutted, like you I loved my job, as an Operations Manager, so I can understand what a blow this has been.
I had just had twin boys and lost the little one ( he was very poorly ) and 12 weeks later I was made redundant. It hit me really hard and I felt very hurt and frustrated, as I was good at what I did and like you wanted to go back and had been looking forward to it – the nanny was all lined up to look after all 3 boys and everything was planned out and worked out – so it completely threw me !
I am now 5 years down the line and have had another son and now have my own business, Little PJS, which is child related and it is great as I fit it in around the boys.
I did spend 6 months looking for jobs and did do something for a year – I was only working between the hours of 9-3, as I had to get back for my older boy from school – in the end I quit,I was getting stressed as felt like I was doing nothing properly. I have always prided myself in working to a high level and felt that I was not doing a good job at work, home or with the children and something had to give and it was the job.
So I became a full time mum, not something I was ever expecting to happen and it took a while to get my head round it all – i had to reevaluate things and so the cleaner went ( that was hard ! ) our holidays have been cut back and we havent changed our cars like we used to do.
With my business I work on an evening or at the weekends and over the last 3 years it has grown steadily and I have a plan for the next 2 years – which includes getting some of the mums I have met at school to join me. We live in a rural area and many of them found that it was not worth going back to work as with the cost of fuel & communting into the cities around us and then trying to find childcare from 3pm onwards is a nightmare and many of the local village schools dont have after school clubs !
I am now glad that it happened as I am working on my business and not for someone else and I can slot it around the children and I am here for them every day after school and can help with all the reading books and spellings and do things with them straight after school – sometimes I wish for the old work life ( especially after a cold February half term ! )
Do you have to go back to work ? Are you thinking of having any more children – why not turn it into a career break to have a family and look to go back later when they are older. COuld you retrain to do something else that would fit in with your family
Did you NCT classes or do you have any local baby friends – can they help you out on childcare ? I became good friends with some mums who I did a music class with my eldest son – and over the years they have become good friends and we all help each other out. We have all helped out when there have been ill parents and accidents – we can just call on each other and support each other.
Good Luck – hang on in there – I always look on the bright side of things and have the attitude that it happended because something better is going to happen !
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
Expert Answer by network marketeer ChazandFred
I will keep it short… See it as an opportunity as hard as it seems now.
I may have something of interest to you involving
Network marketing which is perfect now your a yummy
Mummy 
x
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
SWMum responds
Hi all,
Thank you all for your replies and kind words. It never ceases to amaze me that redundancy during maternity leave happens on a regular basis. Unfortunately, I don’t have the luxury of family nearby, but I do have some NCT friends who work part time, who would be willing to look after my baby for a few hours whilst I go to an interview. My daughter will start to attend nursery one day a week after Easter, so that’s a start. I do have to go back to work, I was the higher earner and my husband is self employed and also in media. One of his projects ends soon and with nothing new on the horizon it just piles on the pressure. I do take your point on board of being more honest with companies and recruiters. I was offered a job before Christmas, but when I mentioned that I would have to leave at 5pm to pick up my child from nursery they got cold feet. I know, with that kind of attitude, it probably wasn’t the kind of company you would want to work for. Anyway, I will take your advice on board and keep working on it. Thanks all.
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Expert Answer by Childcare Expert SJ
Hi SW Mum,
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time. Redundancy during pregnancy or even after maternity leave is very common. In many cases its not even open redundancy but that mothers feel forced out of their jobs because they can’t combine their family lives with the demands being placed upon them by fairly unsympathetic employers.
Trying to get childcare to fit around your existing job is hard enough but when you’re looking for a job with no disposable income to spend on childcare, it can seem like a never ending struggle. Try looking for local creches which can take your daughter for a couple of hours a day if necessary on an ad hoc basis. Or you could try Likeminders who are based in SW london who can provide ad hoc babysitters for a really reasonable price. They can get you the same babysitter each time so that your daughter doesn’t have to get used to someone new each time and you get to go to the interviews you need to go to or even just be able to answer the phone once in a while without having to worry about your child. Their website address is https://www.likeminders.co.uk/. Tell them that Sarah-Jane from Parental Choice recommended you and they will definitely take good care of you and your daughter as I work with them a lot.
If you ever do need more permament childcare and help with that all important pick-up from nursery, do just let us know because that’s what we specialise in: finding the right childcare to fit around your career and hours, at an economical price. We can also offer legal support and flexible working advice. https://www.parentalchoice.co.uk
I’ve been in your situation. I wasn’t made redundant but I was forced out of a job because I couldn’t get my life to fit around my career. I know its hard but you will get there.