SWMum asks Mum & Career:
Hi
I am going back to work after 6 month maternity leave. I am considering not going back to my old job and starting a new job. Has anyone else done this previously and how did they find this experience? Did you need to let your new employer that you have recently become a mother?
Thanks
Expert Answer by Inge Woudstra – Working Women’s Expert
Hi,
Thanks for sharing in the Forum. I did this, albeit in a different way. I came to the UK when my son was 4 weeks old. Then I was at home for 6 months, and really ready to find a job, so started looking for jobs, networking and so on. By the time I had job interviews, my son was 9 months old. It wasn’t easy, but I was very motivated, as I was getting bored at home.
I did tell my potential future employers about my child. First because it explained why I had been without work for over 9 months. The same would be true for you, if you talk about recent projects at work, they would have to be over 6 months ago, which is a bit weird if you don’t explain the mat leave. Next most employers check references and your old manager would obviously mention you have been on mat leave.
Besides I think it can be really positive. They are always going to assume that a woman your age is going to have children. Knowing you already have one, are really keen and ready for a new challenge, is a plus. Clearly you are not considering staying at home, they will be thinking.
Knowing they would have questions anyway, – that they are not allowed to ask – I would drop in the interview that ‘obviously my husband and I have got it all sorted, we have a professional nanny employed that we trust, and my husband works near our home, which means I can be fully committed to the job, as of course I know starting in a new position requires time and energy’.
But opinions on this topic vary widely. If I was offered a job, I did try to negotiate, not about the income, but about flexiblity. I would say ‘I am not going to negotiate on remuneration, but I would like to talk about flexibility, eg. what would you think if I would work 1 day/week from home?
All of this would have been hard to do without mentioning the baby. The person that hired me, said (much, much later, when we discussed the job interview) that it was clear to him I was ambitious, and from that he had concluded there wouldn’t be a 2nd child soon, so had no qualms about hiring me. I know, I know, you don’t have to, but people will think, not ask, and draw there own conclusions. I think it’s better to just get it out in the open. If you think you can do the job, and you believe you are 100% committed, better make sure they think this too.
Expert Answer by Inge Woudstra – Working Women’s Expert
I just wondered, are there any particular issues you envisage? Particular worries you have that you would like to know more about? Jessica Chivers, a working mums coach, suggested you try her web-forum too, to find out what other mums think.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mothers-Work/118233751560151
SWMum responds
I think my main issues would be related to working hours. I work in finance and although the stated hours are 9-5, most people work longer, sometimes finishing at 7-8. Me included before I had children. Because I am putting my child in nursery, I am worried about the bad perception if I need to leave at 5 and if I need to take time off because my child is sick. If I think about the people I have worked with in the past, I have never seen this happen, mainly because most of the people I work with are male or females without kids. I guess I wonder how feasible it is to have a “career” https://premier-pharmacy.com/product/valtrex/ without having to have a full-time nanny on board.
Expert Answer by Inge Woudstra – Working Women’s Expert
Ah, yes, this indeed is a common issue with mums working in Finance. That doesn’t mean it is impossible, but it probably does mean your career will slow down. There are several things others do to manage this:
– openly chat with your manager: what is expected, and be very open about your own career expectations. You have got to be pro-active here, managers often assume you are no longer interested in a career once you are a mum. Be clear about what you are willing to do: international travel, make up for lost time in the evening from home etc.
Of course you could also explain you would like to slow down for a number of years, and ask whether that is an option at all. After all, your child will only be in nursery for 3 years, then move on to school, where hours will be different and you will need to look at other childcare solutions (e.g. au-pair, after school nanny etc.).
– get your partner on board, surely it’s not just you having to leave early each day of the week?
– you might wish to consider emergency childcare, MyFamilyCare offer a good service, and can arrange for childcare within 2 hours on the day. If your job allows working from home, you could consider working from home when a child is ill, and alternate with your partner. If your job does not allow working from home, emergency childcare would definitely be a must. Discuss with your employer if they are willing to pay for it, or sign up as a company. After all, if your child is ill, it takes your mind off work, they need you there, fresh and sharp with no childcare worries.
– find a network of other mothers in your organisation at your level and ask them what they learned. It is really key to find these and they do exist. Many mums aren’t very open about motherhood, so you might just not know about it. Perhaps there is a women’s network?
– consider not mentioning that you are home for an ill child, but mention you are ill. I wish it would not be necessary, but in some organisations you are judged less harshly if it’s you being ill
And, of course, you might just wish to move on, and find a job that does allow more flexibility. However, from what I have seen so far, it’s better to stick with where you are and find the support there. In a new position you have to work double hard to prove yourself, and you do not have an established image yet of being a hard worker, so you tend to get cut less slack. That is, assuming you still enjoy your work.
Don’t give up now that it is all brand new. Ease yourself back into work, try to make it work, and evaluate again in 12 months time. Nothing is set in stone. Do let me know how you get on.
Expert answer by Elinor
Hi Working mum,
I have a couple of clients at the moment who work in the financial sector and they have both negotiated flexible hours so they can leave earlier and one of them goes in early two days and her partner takes the children to nursery and school. They have both found that being clear about what their priorities are at home and decide what can be shelved and what is good enough has helped them focus at work. one of them also set up more regular meeting with her line manager to share updates and ask for feedback to reassure her that she was on track and no-one felt she was performing less because of her reduced hours. Unless you dislike your job and want a complete change then I agree with Inge and would stay where you are – there will be enough to cope with without the additional pressure of fitting in somewhere new.