Inspiral asks Mum & Career
Hi
I would really welcome any practical advice on this one.
I am in the pre-start up phase of setting up a small maternity coaching practice while I look after my two young daughters (20 months and 4 yrs). I’m finding it hard to keep work and home-life separate.
I do work most evenings once they have gone to bed but I’m also trying to fit bits in in the day. I feel I’m not giving my children the time I should as I’m distracted by work and I’m not giving work sufficient attention as I’m paying attention to my children – catch 22?
Any ideas would be really welcome, otherwise heaven knows what it will be like when I get beyond pre-start up.
Many thanks
Helen
Expert answer by Women Entrepreneurs Expert: Helen Lindop
Hi Helen
I really feel for you as I’ve been there and to some extent I still am! It’s hard, no doubt about it.
It’s difficult to suggest a way forward without knowing a little bit more about your situation. But here are a few ideas:
Childcare –
Some work-from-home-mums websites suggest you can give your child a craft activity to be getting on with while you work. In my experience, this doesn’t work, especially with 2 kids! So I think you have two options 1) get some childcare, even if it’s just a few hours a week or 2) just work when the kids are asleep but be very strict about not beating yourself up because your progress is slower than you would like it to be.
Of course if you simply can’t afford the childcare or if you have no friends or relatives around, this isn’t going to be possible. But some mums push themselves too hard by trying to start a business with no childcare at all, when in fact it is possible for them and would do both mum and kids some good.
Boundaries –
Set yourself firm boundaries in terms of time as well as space. The usual time management strategies of blocking out time slots to work and refusing to be distracted don’t work with small children, of course! But wherever you can, do your best to carve out the hours and physical space you need to work, otherwise you end up with a working day that starts at 6.30am and ends at midnight and you won’t feel you’ve achieved much. Not to mention feeling permanently exhausted! This is as much about stopping work at a sensible time as it is about motivation and avoiding procrastination. Also, have a clear plan, so when you do get time to work, you know https://imagineear.com/pharmacy/generic-xenical/ exactly what to do next and can get on with it ASAP.
Expectations –
Mums in business seem to be incredibly hard on ourselves (me included) and we expect to be able to care for our children full-time while achieving what we did when we had a full-time job. Plus keep the house clean, provide home-cooked meals and so on. Something has to give. Maybe that means accepting your business will grow more slowly for a few years until your children are at school?
Good luck! (You’re not alone, there are lots of us out here!)
Helen
https://www.businesplusbaby.com
Expert Answer by Inge Woudstra – Working Women’s Expert
I do know the catch-22 feeling. My personal experience is you need to be really clear with yourself how much time is for your children, and how much time is for your work. What sort of mum do you want to be? Then stick to it. I felt guilty for not always spending time with my son in holidays. Until I realised that a 4 week summer holiday with mum is plenty. He doesn’t need or have the right to 8 weeks adventure and fun stuff, organised by mum. It’s fine for him to be in summer clubs the rest of the holiday. Once I had made that decision it worked for everyone.
That said..when my son was under 2 I didn’t manage any work, I was just exhausted in the evening and couldn’t face working: lack of sleep. A son who didn’t sleep much during the day either, meant that there just never seemed any space to sit behind a computer.
Expert Answer by Inge Woudstra – Working Women’s Expert
I do know the catch-22 feeling. My personal experience is you need to be really clear with yourself how much time is for your children, and how much time is for your work. What sort of mum do you want to be? Then stick to it. I felt guilty for not always spending time with my son in holidays. Until I realised that a 4 week summer holiday with mum is plenty. He doesn’t need or have the right to 8 weeks adventure and fun stuff, organised by mum. It’s fine for him to be in summer clubs the rest of the holiday. Once I had made that decision it worked for everyone.
That said..when my son was under 2 I didn’t manage any work, I was just exhausted in the evening and couldn’t face working: lack of sleep. A son who didn’t sleep much during the day either, meant that there just never seemed any space to sit behind a computer.