Yes, I know there are lots of barriers to working for trailing spouses, and even more for expat mums. But it’s key to overcome those barriers if you want a fulfilling life of your own.
McNulty, a consultant into mobility issues, says in the New York Times: “What I found in my research is that almost all spouses face an identity crisis, but only about 10 to 15 percent did something about it, by becoming authors, getting an MBA or starting businesses,”. Most “felt they were victims, with no control.”
This, to me, shows that finding something meaningful to do is vital for your own sense of fulfillment. Here’s the top 6 things you need to do:
1. Decide what YOU want to do
It really makes things easier if you, rather than just trailing along, make a conscious decision about what you want to do. Your options are limited. You can: work, study, volunteer, take time out looking after the family, pursue a hobby or re-think your career.
These are all viable options, especially when you keep in mind your next move. If you want to return to work at some stage, continuing to add activities to your CV can make things a lot easier in future.
Read more on: What are my options?
2. Actively engage with project/job choices of the leading spouse
The job-finding process might seem something your partner is doing. But you can actively engage up front. Consider whether you can get a work permit, whether there might be jobs in your line of work, and what your partner can do to help.
Robin Pascoe, author of ‘a Movable Marriage’ would only join to countries that would work for her as a journalist. Some couples alternate whose career will be leading at their next country-move. In my case my husband once negotiated a voluntary job at his employer’s local charity project for me, before accepting the move.
3. Ask your partner for help
Your partner could help to research potential job opportunities and help establish methods of acquiring the relevant work permit or working visa.
4. Be organized up-front
Sort out practical issues, such as childcare/schooling before you leave. Do take advantage of all the resources and support services available on-line and off-line to help you with this.
Make the necessary contacts for finding https://premier-pharmacy.com/product/yasmin/ work in advance. This is very viable thanks to social media tools such as LinkedIn and expat bulletin boards and forums. Get in touch with the local Chamber of Commerce, register with various employment agencies and network with friends, family, your partner’s employer and other expats in the area.
5. Be prepared to work for less pay at a lower skill level initially
You might have to prove yourself in a new country, take up a course or obtain new certificates or degrees before being fully accepted. Your first job can be a good stepping stone to learn the basics in a new culture, your next job may well be at your own level again.
6. Build a portable career and focus on building transferable skills
Transferable skills are those skills you can take into another job or country without losing their value. Read more on identifying your transferable skills.
A portable career is something you can take easily to the next country. This could for instance be Internet-based. This includes blogging, freelance writing, online PA work, computer programming or website development jobs. You could set up an Internet-based export business, teach English as a foreign language, or set up a business catering for the international community.
You can even take your current job with you. A German lady who worked for a publisher, negotiated a more flexible job, working from home in the UK, and flying back in several times a year for key meetings. A life-coach coaches clients by phone in Greece and the UK.
For more ideas I can recommend: ’Jo Parfitt – A Career in Your Suitcase: The Expat and Trailing Spouse’s Guide to a Career on the Move’, ‘Robin Pascoe – A movable marriage’
So, yes, you might have to be prepared to work for less pay at a lower skill level and it might take longer before you have found a job that works for you. But it could just be key for your sense of fulfillment to keep control and reassert your identity. Go for it!
Author: Inge Woudstra is the founding director of Mum & Career (www.mumandcareer.co.uk), a community site for professional working mums in the UK. She is a trailing spouse, mother of a 7-year-old, and has re-located 3 times in 10 years time.
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