Julia Tishenko is Tesco’s Category Director for Central Europe. She Tesco’s home business in Europe, trading in Poland, Czech, Hungary, Slovakia on-line and in stores. She manages a team of 50 people, with regular international travel. She mentors internally and is also a mentor for the Cherie Blair Foundation. She has 2 children under 5. I went to find out how she manages work and family.
Your job sounds full-on, what sort of hours do you work?
I work 5 days a week, 9-10 hours a day, sometimes I work in evenings too. Then I travel 2-3 times per month, and a trip usually involves 2-3 nights away from home. Weekends are usually free, but not always.
What support have you got at home to help you manage this?
My husband works free-lance and project based, so his diary is much more flexible than mine. He does the children in the morning. Then we have a nanny from 8am-6pm and my husband takes over from the nanny at 6pm again. He does most of the cooking and shopping. Any other housework we share fairly evenly. We also do have a cleaner coming in once a week.
With your work schedule, where do your children fit in?
I do see them in the morning, but don’t have much interaction with them. I arrive home around 7.30 and, as the children go to bed at 8.30 and 9pm, I usually do spend some time with them then. As my husband has done supper, I have my hands free to focus on the children.
When I travel, I often leave very early and don’t see my children at all.
The weekends are about doing things together. We go to concerts and theatres twice a month. We also like going to the zoo, have playdates and visit playgrounds.
Do you ever have the feeling you are missing out as a mother?
At first I did feel guilty, but at some point I realised there’s no point, as it would be a perpetual guilt. I have to work, as I am the major breadwinner, so part-time is just not an option. In addition I would not be happy at home. I feel looking after young children is a lot about logistics, and the non-stop tidying up when I was home over Christmas was enough to drive me mad. I just wouldn’t be happy at home.
I realised at some point over the past years that my children would be happy if I am happy. Delivery of a piece of work brings me in a healthy state of mind and makes me happy. My children are always incredibly happy to see me too. Of course I am lucky to have a good nanny, she stimulates them in different ways than I could.
Do you have some time left for you?
I keep fit with a personal trainer 3-4 times per week. Sometimes he comes to my home, so I can be around the children. In weekends I get to sleep in. My husband gets up early, and catches up on sleep during the day. It works for me, and feels like I have enough me-time.
How did your work change when you had children?
It’s hard to tell as I had a different job before children. I was promoted while on maternity leave, and have a much more responsible job now. I know I prioritise more than before and have become more efficient. I review what drives my business and my personal performance, and focus on those areas only. Having a larger team and larger responsibility also forces me to delegate more, and that has incrementally grown. I set direction, which has become key. Once I have set direction I can delegate. It helps I have a really good team, and feel very well supported.
Having children keeps things more in perspective, and suddenly many things seem less important at work, but also at home. At home I focus on the key bits; so I ignore what my daughter is wearing – which she is very particular about – and just insist on her washing her hands before dinner. To me the latter is more important.
How did your https://premier-pharmacy.com/product/prednisone/ organisation support you?
I have been supported throughout, especially when my children were very young, my line manager helped me find the right role. One that would allow for more flexible working hours and for breast-feeding. I was promoted while I was on maternity leave, and had a salary increase as well that is pretty much unheard of and my line manager had a lot to do with that.
I have been in Tesco for 10 years now, after attending a business school in the UK 12 years ago, as I am originally from Russia. My development over time in Tesco has been helped at various points by a coach. We have focussed for instance on building a personal profile, stakeholder mapping, developing relationships and personal branding. I also used to have mentors, now I still do have mentors, but it is more informal.
How did your own parents manage their work-life?
Both my parents worked as music teachers in Russia. My mother worked half days, but was doing all the housework on top of that. I don’t remember spending a lot of time with her. This is very different for me now, as I do spend a lot of time with my children. I do remember a happy childhood, and in summer my parents had time off and that’s when we spent time together.
What would you have liked to have known up front about being a working mother?
I would have liked to know earlier that I need to ask what I want, and just relax if my employer agrees.
When I returned after 7 months of maternity leave, I was still breast-feeding, and it felt really bad that I had to leave the office at 5.30 or 6pm. No one said anything, it was just in my own mind. At work they were very supportive. I needed to express once a day, and they found me a room with a sink and I would stay there for half an hour. In my own head I was embarrassed though.
When I had the second one I had learned to give it a place, to think: ‘these are my arrangements and that’s okay’. There’s just certain things I need to do. It’s really just a stage in life. You feel exhausted, but you are delivering. Also it’s only temporary and you will overcompensate in future.
What advice would you give to other mothers?
Find out what works for you. When I had my first baby I met a lot of other mothers with professional careers in antenatal groups, yoga groups and so on. Many of them were giving up work, or returning 1-2 days per week. I enjoyed my leave, but was also ready to go back, I wanted to go back. I wasn’t feeling good about myself and needed more stimulation. Besides, I also had to return for financial reasons.
I have happy children and have learned to trust the nanny. I have found a good school and am good at delegating, at work and at home too. I don’t have anything like withdrawal symptoms. This works for us. But it’s very personal what works for you. I would recommend my children to do the same. My daughter can be a stay-at-home mum, if that is what she wants. For me, I love working, and do not feel fulfilled if I am not delivering at work. Of course I also need the theatre and concerts, it’s really about balance and that is just not the same for everyone.
I would say, just give it a go, and it may work or not.
Most important is that you have peace of mind and you know your children are in good hands, whether that is a nursery, child minder or nanny. My nanny resigned just before I returned to work after the second child and that was incredibly stressful. What helps for us is that my husband is completely free to take over when I have to work late or travel. That makes it easier. If both of us would be working long hours it might be more difficult.
Author: Inge Woudstra, interview on 27 December 2012
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