Lots of career women are hit by the condition of perfectionism. It makes sense as in order to be successful, we give it all and we set high standards to ensure that we are taken seriously, appreciated and rewarded. However, perfectionism is not doing us always good and can get in the way of our health and happiness.
Perfectionism develops a voice inside us.
Do you recognise this voice: ‘You might be found out. You could have done better. Why did you not put that idea forward? Maybe you should work a little bit harder…. ‘
And even though you want this voice to stop, it is not going to. It will actually get louder and harsher, the more you want it to get quiet. This voice has the power to bring you down.
As with all ‘habits’, such as thriving for perfectionism, over time it becomes ingrained in your thoughts and actions and you keep acting on automatic pilot. And on an unconscious level you give yourself the message that you are only good enough if you do things perfect. This is the message that will bring you down and will hit your confidence. Because every time you deliver ‘nearly’ perfect –which will be most of the time, as perfect doesn’t exist-, you will tell yourself off. This negative way of looking at yourself is harmful. It undermines https://www.eta-i.org/ambien.html your confidence, it doesn’t allow for self-acceptance and it causes stress, a lot of stress.
What can you do about this?
1. To stop the little voice, start with acknowledging it. Write down all the messages the voice is telling you.
2. Then make a factual inventory of all the things you do.
3. Be totally honest and write down about every single item how well you perform – in a percentage – 100% is perfect, and 70% is acceptable. This way you can find out how high you set the standards for yourself.
4. Note for every item on the list the minimum and the perfectly acceptable level of performance. Are you within that bandwidth or are you over performing?
5. Now you have the information you need to give yourself a compliment on how well you are doing and you can make a well-informed choice on where you can let go of some effort….
My question to you: would you put the same expectations on your friends or colleagues? If not, let go of that 100% and celebrate the 70% achievement with joy.
Perfectionism lacks the fluidity that allows for creativity and surprises – Dr Mariette Jansen
Author: Dr Mariette Jansen (Dr De-Stress) helps women with the challenge of the balance, and empowers them to create a healthy work-life balance.
0 Comments