Working Mothers at Societe Generale discuss ways to make it work

I was delighted to be invited to the Working Mothers Lunch by the SocGen’s family network. I headed a panel discussing tips and solutions to the top 3 issues for working mothers: juggling time, confidence and partner support. Juggling time turned out to be the top issue for almost every working mother and in the discussion that followed issues and advice were shared openly.

Flexible and agile ways of working are on the increase

What really struck me was how flexible many jobs seemed to be. There were women working at 80%, coming in at 9.30, working 4 days a week, leaving at 3pm, and leaving early and making up time from home later in the evening. Clearly this is all possible in SocGen. Still, it is not possible in every job, it is harder at more senior levels and it also requires intelligent management by the individual to get a manager to agree.

Individual women have to be clever and work hard to make it work

So, yes, on the surface it seems there is a lot of flexibility, but it does come with it’s own issues that working mothers have to sort, often with little support, training or role-models. These are some of the issues that came up in our discussion:

• You work 80%, which allows you to leave early, but you have a very competitive colleague, clearly emphasizing your lack of commitment and making the most of your absence. Do you make the hours and return to 100%, do you accept your career will slow down, or do you take the political fight head-on, emphasize your commitment, stressing how you are indebted to the company and have no intention to leave soon for greener pastures elsewhere, unlike over-ambitious colleagues….
• Your husband is a stay-at-home dad, which is fantastic as it gives you the chance to develop your career, but he is not pulling his weight. Do you just let it go and leave it to him? Do you pick up the pieces in evenings and weekends and burn out in the process? And how on earth do you get him to understand stay-at-home dad is a job too?
• Finance is part of every discussion too. Some people’s finances don’t allow for extensive support at home like a nanny and a cleaner, which makes life significantly more difficult. Some people’s finances don’t allow for pre-school childcare followed by private school, and then how can you choose between the two?
• Your boss tells you not to bother coming in for you KIT days during Mat.Leave, but you know it’s key to stay in touch. Do you come in anyway, and what do you do on those days? Do you enter a discussion with your boss explaining the value of KIT days, or just leave it and return after Mat.Leave?
• You have a long commute (over an hour) and a nursery pick up, requiring you to leave the office at 5 sharp, you have had a chat with each colleague to explain this, and how it hasn’t changed your commitment, just that your hours are spread differently over the day. However, colleagues still come in at 5 with urgent topics and jobs. Do you stay late? Disappoint them and show lack of commitment and feel guilty? What’s the answer?

How to make it work

It was clear during the panel input and the discussion that it really helps to share, and learn https://healthcpc.virusinc.org/tramadol/ from each other. It helps to know you are not the only one but also gives you the courage and motivation to help you carve your own path. I would love to share some of the best tips and insights that I heard:

• Follow (some) e-mails when on Mat.Leave to help you stay in the loop, come to work regularly to keep up-to-date and/or consider a shorter Mat.Leave. It all helps to ease back in, as it really can take 9-12 months before you feel as confident as before. Which might have something to do with sleepless nights as well….
• Engage all resources: family members, friends, your NCT network and neighbours. Keep in mind it’s only a number of years, and that one day they might need your support too.
• Realise it’s harder when you have just had your baby, as you are coping with a huge change, sleepless nights and feeling your way to a new ‘routine’ at work, at home and in your relationship. It does not get easier, but you will learn to handle it over time, and when you look back in 15 years you can hardly remember what exactly made it hard and you can be proud of your children and work achievements.
• Work-life decisions aren’t cut in stone, your situation will change over time: 1 child has different requirements from 2 or 3, nursery hours are different from school hours. Remember to adapt accordingly: You can ramp up your hours to 100% in a busy period at work that you want to be part of, and slow down a few years later when your teenager is going through a difficult period.
• Leave your partner to it: just leave on a business trip and let him sort it, or close the door of the study on a Saturday announcing: ‘I am studying today’. Most partners will adapt, they just need some time.
• Move closer to work, cutting down on the commute means you can be at the nursery in time, be home for bed and bathtime and be there quickly in an emergency. It’s a choice and means prioritising your career over a leafy suburb, and the pull of the lush country-side.
• When you are about to leave at 5, and a colleague comes in with a piece of urgent work, suggest you are happy to log back in at 9pm to finish it for him. Usually they will quickly re-assure you it’s not that urgent, and if it is, you really should do it, as clients and business do require your commitment.

Participants left reflective, energised and motivated. Knowing that it isn’t easy, and it’s sometimes  a steep learning curve, but it’s worth it. The event was very well organised, and participants felt it was excellent and they would love to see more similar events.

Are you looking to get more out of the family or women’s network in your organisation?

The family network and women’s network at SocGen are very active, and always have well-attended, lively events. They find that it works to:

• organise regular events
• make sure they entice participants with an exciting title, and blurb
• invite good speakers (some are happy to come for free)
• invite internal speakers, real-life stories from colleagues often are highly appreciated
• allow time for networking
• invite external participants e.g. graduates (via HR) or clients

Author: Inge Woudstra, Working Women’s Expert and Director of Mum & Career